Parenting for Purity


DISCLAIMER: Pure Community does not necessarily endorse all the views represented in the following resources. In fact, the resources themselves represent differing and even opposing views on best practices for raising children and teaching healthy sexuality. Each family and parent is responsible for selecting resources that work best with their children and belief system. If you find you are opposed to the views of one resource, please do not assume you will find issue with others on this list.

EMOTIONAL AWARENESS
Childhood exposure to sexuality hijacks a child’s ability to connect with and work through emotions. Emotional needs will become sexualized without outside guidance from an adult. This starts with teaching emotional awareness at a young age, building skills for healthy expression of emotions, becoming aware of the connection between healthy needs and destructive desires, and finally learning to meet ones own emotional needs in healthy ways. Emotional awareness becomes a primary focus of Parenting for Purity in the 21st Century.

For Parents
  • Parenting from the Inside Out by Daniel Siegel MD & Mary Hartzell
    Drawing on stunning new findings in neurobiology and attachment research, they explain how interpersonal relationships directly impact the development of the brain, and offer parents a step-by-step approach to forming a deeper understanding of their own life stories, which will help them raise compassionate and resilient children.

  • Safe House: How Emotional Safety Is the Key to Raising Kids Who Live, Love, and Lead Well by Joshua Straub
    Emotional safety—more than any other factor—is scientifically linked to raising kids who live, love, and lead well. Learn how to use emotional safety as a foundation from which you parent—and make a cultural impact that could change the world!

  • The 5 Love Languages of Teenagers by Gary Champan
    In this adaptation of the #1 New York Times bestseller The Five Love Languages® (more than 10 million copies sold), Dr. Gary Chapman explores the world in which teenagers live, explains their developmental changes, and gives tools to help you identify and appropriately communicate in your teen's love language.

For Children
  • A Child’s Book of Heroes by William Bennett
    Common childhood stories that instill values and promote positive relationships.

  • A Child’s Book of Virtues by William Bennett
    Common childhood stories that instill values and promote positive relationships.

  • MySELF: I Have Feelings by Multiple Authors
    Stories that lay the groundwork for young children to understand their emotions.

CLEANSING THROUGH RELATIONSHIP
We do not expect that one bath will keep our children free of physical dirt for the rest of childhood. Dirt accumulates on them from the environment and sometimes they purposefully roll in it. In either case, we expect our children to take regular baths or showers to stay physically clean.

Sexual misinformation and pornography are now everywhere and regularly contaminate our children’s minds. In addition to trying to limit our children’s exposure, we now need to decontaminate their minds on a regular basis. We do this through conversation and relationship. Just as we have our children bathe frequently we must now use regular relationship and conversation to cleanse our children’s minds. We do this by discussing the sexual misinformation we encounter, talk through our feelings about what we experience, and build relationships that are stronger than the appeal of fantasy.

For All Parents
  •  The Importance of Relationship TED Talk by Johann Hari
    You need to watch this video. The actual title of this TED talk is "Everything you think you know about addiction is wrong," which doesn't sound related to parenting but it absolutely is. If we don't want our kids addicted to pornography, or anything else, we have to understand what Johann is saying here. It's all about real relationships that are face-to-face, not online.


For Parents of Younger Children (ages 5-10)
  • Next Talk Video Series Focusing on Open Communication, Next Talk discusses cyber safety and the communication necessary between children and parents today for kids to survive the sexual world. This is a parent group video curriculum. Content is provided for free to any group.

  • Next Talk Book by Mandy Majors
    This is the book version of the Next Talk Video series. Answers questions like, "How can I protect my child from online threats like pornography and cyberstrangers? My child is being bullied online. What can I do? How do I talk about sex with my tween? I’m not sure how to discuss issues like homosexuality and transgender with my child. Do you have any suggestions?"

  • Will I Rob My Child's Innocence by Warning them About Pornography? by Kristen Jenson 
    Kristen addresses a concern of many parents when trying to decide if a child is too young to begin preparing them how to react when they encounter pornography.


  • Guide to Talking with Your Kids about Sex by Focus on the Family
    A comprehensive guide for parents on talking to their children about sex and sexuality.

  • The Talk: 7 Lessons to Introduce Your Child to Biblical Sexuality by Luke Gilkerson
    The Talk is a series of 7 studies, all anchored in the Scriptures, that helps parents to talk meaningfully with children about sexuality. The Talk was written for parents to read with children ages 6 to 10 years old.

  • God’s Design for Sex (Books 1, 2, 3, & 4) by Stan & Brenna Jones
    Books include: The Story of Me, Before I was Born, Facing the Facts, What's the Big Deal? These books help parents educate children about healthy sexuality and intimacy at appropriate ages.

  • Good Pictures, Bad Pictures by Kristen Jenson
    Good Pictures Bad Pictures is a comfortable, read-aloud story about a mom and dad who teach their child what pornography is, why it's dangerous, and how to reject it. Using easy-to-understand science and simple analogies, this ground-breaking book engages young kids to porn-proof their own brains.

  • When Your Child is Looking at Pornography by Covenant Eyes
    The sad fact is, most children do end up seeing pornography, even if parents have taken steps to prevent exposure. For parents, discovering a child has been exposed can be alarming, hurtful, even frightening. This free ebook from Covenant Eyes helps parents how to talk to a child who has been exposed.

  • Planned Purity for Parents by Jenny Bishop
    Using Planned Purity, any reader can construct a household of purity for themselves, a child or a family. A resource section with parent/child scripts, object lessons and more makes this guide a must-have for any mom or dad planning for purity in today’s sexualized culture.

  • Beginning the Path to Purity by Laura Gallier
    Helpful insights for parents to use when teaching older elementary aged children how to overcome today’s sex-related pressures. The book contains a thorough list of conversations to have with gradeschool children to help them process the sexual misinformation they face.

  • ProtectYoungMinds.org PYM seeks to help parents "porn-proof" their kids before they come across highly addictive and easily accessible internet pornography. Additionally, PYM offers guidance for families whose children have already been hurt by pornography, and hopes to serve as a "force multiplier" by empowering proactive people who want to educate their local communities.

For Younger Children (ages 5-10)
  • The Princess & the Kiss by Jennie Bishop
    In Jennie Bishop's best-selling original children's picture book, a princess saves her "kiss" for the man she will marry. Men who are strong, romantic and rich come to court her, but none seem worthy of her kiss. How will she find the one who will truly value her precious gift?

  • The Squire & the Scroll by Jennie Bishop
    The classic children's picture book for boys is designed as a companion to The Princess and the Kiss. A squire goes to retrieve the Lantern of Purest Light to save his kingdom. In doing so, he must complete five quests to keep his heart pure. The quests parallel the five senses and how these "five doors" must be guarded to maintain a pure heart. An excellent review of the Preschool Purity of Heart booklet in story form.

  • Good Pictures, Bad Pictures by Kristen Jensen
    The best resource available to help young children understand what pornography is, why it can feel attractive, and how to avoid it. Age appropriate and a great resource to help parents and children start the conversation about resisting inappropriate materials.

  • What Should I do When I See Pornography?
    An age appropriate video aimed at young children giving very clear and easy instructions on what to do when they come across pornography. The presenters are children themselves, making the subject more comfortable for your child to respond to.
For Parents of Middle Children (ages 11-13)
  • Preparing Your Son for Every Man's Battle by Stephen Arterburn
    Guidance for parents, helping them know what to say to a son when beginning conversations about sexual integrity and how to say it.

  • Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman's Battle by Shannon Ethridge
    Guidance for parents to take a daughter through enjoyable yet memorable discussions about sexuality, purity, and dating–leading. Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman’s Battle provides creative tools that will give you the confidence to talk openly and honestly with your daughter–and encourage a lifetime of sexual and emotional integrity.

  • Raising Body Confident Daughters: 8 Conversations to Have With Your Tween by Danna Gresh
    An easy-to-use mom's planning guide and online resources such as audio conversations with Dannah offer more ways to build your mom-daughter connection--and to love and protect your little girl as she grows into a woman.

  • Father + Son: Talk About Sex by Freedom Begins Here
    Looking for a way to talk to your son about sex? Freedom Begins Here presents a new format of discussion. The Father Son interactive DVD and Guidebook is a way for fathers to talk openly with their sons about sex, as well as pornography. This is a humorous, but appropriate way to break the ice on some awkward conversations. Particularly useful in getting boys to relax and open up.

  • How to Talk to Your Kids about Pornography by Educate and Empower Kids
    The best resource we've found to teach parents how to talk to middle aged children about the danger of pornography and good ways to avoid it's allure. Critical information and great discussion questions are provided that will foster productive and meaningful conversations between you and your kids.

  • Focus on the Family Parenting Section
    A large and thorough collection of online articles preparing parents to deal with a wide variety of issues parents face when trying to teach healthy sexuality. Included are articles on how to help children who have fallen into pornography use or other inappropriate sexual behaviors.

  • Covenant Eyes Parent Blog
    A very large collection of professional blogs on parenting children in a way that helps prevent sexualization of our children. New blogs are added almost daily, making this an excellent resource to return to regularly.

For Middle Children (ages 11-13)
  • The Forbidden Scrolls: The Shadow of Black Rock, The Other Side of Black Rock, & Under the Burning Sun by John W Fort
    A fictional story of boy who feels drawn to something dangerous, yet appealing—in this case, a forbidden dragon. The series is intended to be an analogy of the allure of pornography and the dangers of keeping a secret life, but it does so entirely through analogy, without any suggestion of sensuality. Particularly popular with children on the introverted or introspective side.

  • A Girl's Guide to Understanding Boys by Danna Gresh & Suzy Weibel
    A resource for girls during those wonderful but scary years when they start thinking about boys differently and encounter our culture's destructive messages. With stories and examples your daughter can relate to, the book takes her to the Bible as her resource, helping her meditate on its message and have fun while she does it.

  • It's Great to be a Girl by Danna Gresh
    Everywhere your daughter goes—online or in real life—our culture tells her lies about her body. That’s why Dannah Gresh and Suzy Weibel have developed this resource that points tween girls like yours to the truth about God’s design. Your body is a masterpiece created by God. With stories and examples your daughter can relate to, this Girl’s Guide takes her to the Bible as her resource, helping her meditate on its message and have fun while she does it. In this fun and down-to-earth handbook for girls age 8 to 12, you’ll find answers to questions about your changing body.

  • It's Great to be a Guy by Jarrod Sechler
    This contains everything a preteen guy needs to know about his changing body and feelings, and it's all written from the Bible's point of view. You can look forward to all God has planned for you because it's great to be a guy!

For Parents of Older Children (ages 14-18)
  • Father-Son Accountability: Integrity Through Relationship by John Fort & Lucas Fort
    This book goes beyond parents having a single talk with a child about sexuality. Instead, it lays out a way to have ongoing conversations between father and son that will change with the son’s development and struggles with purity. This is not a "birds and the bees" book, but discusses the underlying foundation that needs to be put in place before a father can begin to deal with the allure of sexuality and pornography with his son. Very clear, concrete, and boldly addresses difficult topics such as decision making in teenagers, willpower, masturbation and exactly how to do accountability with a son.

  • Choosing to Wait by Laura Gallier
    A Parent's Guide to Inspiring Abstinence gives readers a refreshing alternative approach for rearing sexually pure kids. The book contains discussion questions and discussion road maps which equip parents to initiate and facilitate quality conversations with their kids about the subject matter from each chapter. This book goes beyond boundary setting, and instead empowers parents to cultivate convictions in their children so they can stand strong when faced with temptation. While other books focus on modifying a child's behavior, this book gives parents the power to ignite lasting character transformation in their kids.

  • The Culture Translator
    While not about sexuality or purity, this online tool is one parents can use to understand the ever-changing culture and terminology in their children's lives. Perhaps not needed by every parent, but a great tool for those who want to understand their children's language.

For Older Children (ages 14-18)
  • Every Young Man’s Battle by Stephen Arterburn & Fred Stoeker
    The authors of the Every Man’s Battle know the temptations young men face every day. The fact is, you can achieve victory over sexual compromise. Every Young Man’s Battle shows you how to rise above today's debased, self-seeking culture by examining God's standard, training your eyes and mind, cleaning up your thought life, and developing a plan. With extensive updates for a new generation of men, this is the award-winning guide to practical resistance. Bottom line: these strategies are biblical and they have worked for millions of men.

  • Every Young Woman’s Battle by Shannon Ethridge & Stephen Arterburn
    The world we live in promotes sex as the answer to just about everything. The pressure to go along with the crowd is greater than ever before, and it's easy to compromise in little ways that are a lot more harmful than they seem. Find answers to why we struggle and how to be successful in our goals.

  • Pure Teens by Dr. John Thornington
    Pure Teens is a valuable, practical resource for every Christian teen about relationships and sex—and why they are such a big deal to God.

  • No Trespassing: I’m God’s Property by Leah Holder
    Not all parents understand the sexual pressures teen girls are faced with today. Leah, age 19 at the time of writing, presents truths and personal testimonies regarding how we can be sexually pure within this sex-crazy world. No Trespassing contains three brief sections—mind, body, and heart. Within them, Leah provides practical tips to guide us on our journeys to sexual purity. A top pick for relevance in today's reality.

  • What are You Waiting For? by Danna Gresh
    For young woman looking for honest answers about sex—and wondering why it’s such a big deal—you’ve come to the right place. Dannah does not shy away from personal topics and addresses questions few openly discuss. Not one to shy away from edgy topics, Dannah candidly shares: straight talk about masturbation and pornography, the ground-breaking science that explains the addictive power of romantic experiences, honest answers about the lesbian question, a clear plan for breaking free from sexual guilt, the unexpected key to a lifetime of truly fulfilling intimacy

  • I Kissed Dating Goodby by Joshua Harris
    Going out? Been dumped? Waiting for a call that doesn’t come? Have you tasted pain in dating, drifted through one romance or, possibly, several of them? Ever wondered, Isn’t there a better way? I Kissed Dating Goodbye provides honest and practical, it challenges cultural assumptions about relationships and solid, biblical alternatives to society's norm. Very thoughtful concepts, whether or not you and your teen completely agree with Josh's conclusions.

  • PornKnow.org
    A new online resource with quick video content about the truth and dangers of pornography. These are safe and trusted resources for awareness, education, equipping and advocacy.

  • FightTheNewDrug.org
    By young people, for young people, the current leading site promoting the dangers of internet pornography. Uses language and style that youth understand and relate to, with messages from people they look up to in media.

FAMILY PROTECTION
Resources to help parents protect children as much as possible for sexual misinformation and pornography.
  • Parenting the Internet Generation by CovenantEyes.com
    Internet pornography is just one of the dangers facing your kids online. Have you thought about what else your kids are facing? This free ebook from Covenant Eyes helps parents know how keep their children safe online.

  • Internet Safety 101 by Enough is Enough
    Internet Safety 101 covers the safety basics you need to know to become educated, equipped and empowered to protect children from pornography, sexual predators, and cyberbullies, as well as how to keep kids safe on social networking sites, gaming and mobile devices. Filled with poignant true stories and essential strategies to counter these dangers, you will gain information, skills, and confidence to effectively protect children on all Internet-enabled devices.

  • imdb.com
    Movie review site with the most thorough parent advisory content available. Select any movie and look for Parent Guide: View Content Advisory. We highly recommend using this tool before allowing your children, or even family, to see any old or new movie. Don't be surprised, know ahead of time what movies contain. Ratings themselves do not always tell the whole story.

  • Vidangel.com
    A website where you can download digital versions of movies with the content you don't want to expose your family to removed. You can chose to have violence, vulgar language, and sexual content removed. Not all movies are available, but many are. If your kids want to see a movie but you know it has content you don't want them to see, check Vidangel out to see if you can show them a cleaned up version.

REQUEST TRAINING

The content above is intended for use along side our Parenting for Purity in the 21st Century curriculum. If you would be interested in receiving training to lead a group in your community, let us know!