BOOKS & OTHER MATERIALS
Posted: Mar 16, 2018

3 Ways You Can Be Single and Sexual

for women

Did you know that single women are sexual? That your sexuality has nothing to do with whether or not you are having sex? As ridiculous as it sounds, many Christians grow up thinking that they will magically become sexual when they get married. 

Singles are sexual beings created in the image of God. Your sexuality is not compartmentalized, waiting for marriage; it's integrated into all the aspects of your being—intellectual, emotional, relational, and spiritual. It's a core part of who God created you to be.

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Posted: Dec 7, 2016

An Open Letter to A Female Sexual Addict

Dear Precious One,

I have been where you are. I am no stranger to the shame that you feel. Although they are now in my rear view mirror, the horrible self-hate, the embarrassment, the sexual desires that I feared I could not control, the depression, the regret, and so many other emotions were all too real to me not long ago.
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Posted: Sep 6, 2016

Blinded by Grace

Ever feel discouraged in progression, or lack thereof, in the journey to purity? I certainly can relate to that, but I have discovered God's view can be quite different from ours.

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Posted: Jul 26, 2017

Communication In Marriage - or Lack There Of

Communication is a Big Deal

“What we’ve got here is a failure to communicate.” A famous line from the 1967 movie, “Cool Hand Luke.”

In marriage, good communication needs to be a high priority. Open, honest, and clear communication is a heavy-duty building block for trust.

Poor communication between husband and wife opens the door to misunderstanding at a plethora of levels and intensity. Making assumptions is a form of poor communication, which can lead to tension and mistrust.

Cutting corners with this piece of marital construction material is inviting foundational collapse.
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Posted: Mar 4, 2016

Emotional Support Beyond Your Spouse

I love hearing stories of couples who have enjoyed many years together in marriage. Not just enduring each other, but truly happy together. One key theme these stories often share is that successful couples are involved in community. These couples—who not only have been married many years but also report more contentment and joy in their marriage—have healthy emotional support outside of their marriage.
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Posted: Jan 25, 2016

Finding Safe Accountability as a Christian Leader

Part 1

Christian leaders live and minister inside a fishbowl where all their professional work and personal choices are constantly on public display. To function effectively, the Christian leader often operates from behind a "pastor mask". It's not that the mask is a ruse or fake, but it does have some necessary inauthenticity built-in when it comes to interacting with non-intimate relationships.
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Posted: Feb 1, 2016

FINDING SAFE ACCOUNTABILITY AS A CHRISTIAN LEADER

Part 2

In my previous article, we discussed the inherent difficulty Christian leaders have in finding safe, yet vulnerable, accountability. While it's not to say there wouldn't ever be a congregant or employee mature enough for such an undertaking, it's certainly not typical.
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Posted: Feb 8, 2016

Finding Safe Accountability as a Christian Leader

Part 3

In my first two articles, we recognized the need for Christian leaders to have safe and vulnerable accountability relationships with others. We've also been honest about the particular difficulties for finding such unique individuals. But what should a Christian leader do when a safe person can't be found among other ministry colleagues or in our other contexts where trustworthy relationships might normally be discovered and cultivated? Here are a few thoughts...
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Posted: Sep 4, 2015

Five Common Roots of Sexual Addiction

Part 1 - Neurological Conditioning

From what I have learned treating sex addicts of all sorts since 2000, there are essentially 5 common types or roots of sexual addiction: Neurological, Psychological, Trauma-induced, Intimacy-Aversive and Mood/Brain-functioning roots.
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Posted: Nov 9, 2015

Five Common Roots of Sexual Addiction

Part 2 - Psychological Deficits

The second most common type of addiction—psychological—is created when sex is used to “medicate” against painful memories or relational experiences from childhood in adulthood. In other words, we all have emotional/relational needs that must be met developmentally: affirmation, attachment/bonding, affiliation, trust, responsibility, honesty, and others.

 

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