It was a promise God had whispered to my aching heart, years ago, that I was now experiencing! "Thank-you God for laughter" were the words that flowed easily from my 15 year old daughter's mouth after an evening of enjoying each other's company. A simple bedtime prayer for many, yet to me her statement held enormous value! Those four words cemented the quiet assurance that the Lord had spoken to my once shattered world.

Ever feel discouraged in progression, or lack thereof, in the journey to purity? I certainly can relate to that, but I have discovered God's view can be quite different from ours.

Today during my time with the Lord this scripture just seemed to leap off of the page at me. Maybe because it's along the same lines of a quote I heard about a week ago (by Pastor Chris Hodges) that I can't stop thinking about: "Temptation is not a test of your will power. It is a test of your relationship".

There is a mistake I see virtually every man make in recovery. It is the mistake of defending "rightness." Let me explain.

Every man who enters recovery has a history of deception; of others as well as himself. He has told so many lies it would be pointless to try and tally them up. When the truth of his secrets comes to light, the people closest to him recoil in shock and hurt. They feel the sting of betrayal that his lies brought. They wonder if they can ever again believe anything this man tells them.

Ashamed, alone, damaged, perverted, twisted, abnormal, and did I mention alone? These are just a few of the negative emotions I had as a female who was sexually addicted.  For 23 years I struggled in secret with masturbation; then masturbation and porn; and eventually masturbation, porn and anonymous sexual encounters.  All of this while living a double life.  On week nights I would teach Bible Studies, minister to new believers, and was even a Sunday School teacher.  Was I a hypocrite?  Some would say yes.  Actually, I was just a believer that really loved Jesus, but was clueless about how to manage the addiction that I had become trapped in since I was 11 years old.