A Relapse

A Relapse
by Marie Good

Clutching my well-worn bible tightly to my chest like it was the last piece of hope I had left. Warm tears spilling out of my eyes and running down my cheeks collecting on the feather pillow. I had feared this day and yet never could have grasped the painful feeling that would come over me as those old wounds were sliced open again. A relapse is what my husband called it, but to me it was another betrayal.

All the broken ground I had worked so hard to reclaim seem to be slipping out of my grasp. An incredible overwhelming feeling washed over me as I found myself questioning if the last four years of this healing process were in vain. But, in all realty I had not lost the ground I had gained. Even with the painful acknowledgement of my husband’s relapse I still had a new foundation and belief of who I was to fall on. The revelation of God’s love that I had experienced over the past four years was still there. Yes, this relapse pushed my husband and my relationship back some but, it could not steal any piece of me that I was not willing to give up.

Redemption is a gift from God and no one can rob from me the healing that God has done in my life. I know that the future can hold heartache and pain but, I stand again on the solid ground knowing that I am loved and precious to God.

As I begin another broken journey with my husband by my side, I do not walk it in the same way as I did before. This time I journey on knowing who I am and with a realization that no matter what happens God is always with me. Because of this truth I can put one foot in front of the other.

"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery."—Galatians 5:1

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Posted: Jul 6, 2016,
Categories: Spouses,
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Author: Marie Good
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