Articles
Posted: Apr 19, 2017

It’s Time to Open up About That Sexual Struggle, Ma’am

When I was around 11 years old I came across a hidden stash of pornography hidden under a relative’s mattress. Almost immediately I began seeking out what I accidentally stumbled upon that day. This soon led to sexually addictive behavior including pornography and compulsive masturbation. Eventually the pornography and masturbation led to numerous multiple anonymous sexual encounters. Finally, after nearly 23 years of living with this secret, at the age of 34 I hit rock bottom.
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Posted: Jan 14, 2017

Girls Can Do Anything Boys Can Do!

This week I had the privilege of speaking to a brand new telephone client.  She was a young lady of 20 years old.  As I do with new clients, I asked her if she had received any help previously for her sexual addiction.   She mentioned to me that she had received a few months’ worth of coaching assistance.  She proceeded to tell me the name of the organization and then added something like, “But it was really a guy’s organization.  But women struggle with this issue too!  Not just men.  Everything out there seems to be for men”.  Wow.  Sadly, she is more than correct.  However, thankfully that is changing and we have come a long way since I started my journey over 11 years ago. 

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Posted: Dec 28, 2016

The Gift of Pain

We rarely, if ever, put the idea of blessing into the same realm with pain. They seem opposed to one another, like trying to mix oil and water. But having worked in addiction recovery for the past dozen years, I have discovered uncanny links between them. And if we pay attention to these links, we might find that our pain can have a purpose that is good and redemptive.

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Posted: Dec 12, 2016

The Problem with Fantasy

The problem is that when we engage fantasy (like pornography) we use our imagination to draw us away from the real world, not to better connect with it.
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Posted: Dec 7, 2016

An Open Letter to A Female Sexual Addict

Dear Precious One,

I have been where you are. I am no stranger to the shame that you feel. Although they are now in my rear view mirror, the horrible self-hate, the embarrassment, the sexual desires that I feared I could not control, the depression, the regret, and so many other emotions were all too real to me not long ago.
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