Articles
Posted: Dec 24, 2016

Dear Spouse,

As a counselor who specializes in sexual issues, I’ve heard from many wives with spouses who struggle.  Their stories of courage fill my heart with gratitude for their resolve and strength.  Their stories of pain and betrayal grip me and tear my heart in two.  If you are a female who has experienced the infidelity of pornography or other sexual sins your spouse has committed against you, I have no doubt you can relate to the pain I am describing.  I seriously wish time and other circumstances allowed me to sit down with you as a friend, and listen to each of your stories for hours.  I would love to cry with you, hug you, hold your hand, and offer encouragement and support.  Since that is not possible, I’d like to offer a very condensed summary of some of the things I’d share if we were in person.

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Posted: Nov 23, 2015

Five Common Roots of Sexual Addiction

Part 4 - Fear of Intimacy

Intimacy-aversive (sometimes called 'sexual anorexia' or 'intimacy anorexia') addicts have more trouble with "acting-in" than acting-out in the context of a relationship. This can be evidenced by behaviors that tend to sabotage or erode the intimacy in that primary romantic relationship: withdraw, withholding, blaming, shaming, avoiding, hiding, controlling, etc. Sound familiar?

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Posted: Nov 16, 2015

Five Common Roots of Sexual Addiction

Part 3 - The Trauma Factor

The third most common type of sexual addiction is called Trauma-Induced and is the result of sexual trauma. Sexual trauma means "any event that alters or damages a person’s self-perception or understanding of healthy sexuality." This can range from normal childhood experiences like “playing doctor” or exploring to actual acts of rape, incest or molestation.
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Posted: Oct 30, 2015

Onions

Onions do not stink nor do they make you cry unless you peel away the outer layer of skin.  Healing is the same way. As my journey of healing crept on, there were times that it was easy to blame my broken dreams and trauma on my husband.
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