by Marie Good

Who, What, Why, When, Where, How...six small words most of us were taught in elementary school to ask when solving or understanding a problem. Tiny in size, these words can hold the key to unlocking a mystery or harming a heart.

With my husband's disclosure came this unexplained urge to scream the hundreds of questions that were flooding my mind which seemed to have erupted from nowhere. "Who did you do this with?" "What is your problem?" "When did all this take place?" "Where was I?" "How many times...?" "WHY!?" With each question asked came answers, some in which I was not ready to hear. I began to quickly learn that I should only ask questions that were necessary for my healing to move forward.

In desperately seeking to find a sense of safety in an unsafe situation, I was trying to make sense of the chaos that caused havoc on my heart. But needing to know all the details became a false sense of security and had the ability to leave lasting scars in my mind. It quickly came to be my own responsibility to be discerning with what I was asking and the timing of the questions. In doing so I was protecting myself from facts and details I was not emotional ready to hear.

There has come a time when most of my inquiries have been answered. And even though the replies were not always what I hoped for, I found myself at a place that I was able to hear and process each response. Being discerning in the asking has helped me move one step closer to the healing.

With all the good these 6 tiny words can do they can also be the down fall of our healing. Asking too many questions, too early, can take us down a bumpy road that we could have easily avoided. Remember before you ask your husband a question, ask yourself one too... "Does this question need to be answered for my healing to move forward?"
Posted: Apr 15, 2016,
Categories: Spouses,
Comments: 0,
Author: Marie Good
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