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Marriage – For Better or For Worse

Marriage – For Better or For Worse
by Dan Wobschall
from Be Broken Ministries

For Better Is Easy
For many of us our wedding vows included a commitment to love and cherish one another in sickness and in health and “for better or for worse.” It’s easy to act loving in the “better” of marriage, but when the “worse” arrives on the scene, that can be an entirely different matter. The variable is what shape worse takes.

Sexual strongholds and likely pornography is a part of a story or your story and it’s why you chose to stop by our site. Thank you for doing so and having the courage to read this article and hopefully many others.

I understand for worse, first hand. In the depths of my pornography struggle I brought worse into our marriage and family. I caused years of emotional and physical pain, deep concern to our children about whether my wife would remain married, and finding myself in the throws of depression and suicidal ideations.

My wife, Julie had been betrayed and traumatized. She’d been lied to for years and all the trust she had placed in me was destroyed. Destroyed in an instant when she discovered my secret double life.

A Choice to Be Made
My wife had a choice to make the moment she discovered my porn use and online relationship of two years. She could either stay and fight for the marriage or send me packing.

I had a similar choice, except in reverse…kind of. I could chose to get help and pray God would restore the marriage and family or surrender to my addiction and leave.

After a few weeks of not directly confronting this question, I asked Julie what she intended to do. Her answer stunned me. Without hesitation it was to stay and fight. The vows we made were not just words to her: we’d agreed to do what we had to, to save the marriage, should something arise and… it did.

I was deeply relieved and frightened. I did not want our marriage to end and have our family torn in two. This decision was relatively easy in comparison to the work it would take to salvage and restore the marriage.

Now What?
Now, came the hard work that was implied in ‘for worse.’ The restoration process began taking one day at a time. Eventually over months and years it progressed to a week and eventually to a month at a time journey to healing and restoration.

Both better and worse moments filled those years of recovery that began in 2004. Thirteen years later God has not just restored but bloomed our marriage and family. The worst of times have given us a very different and beautiful view of the better of times. The struggle and pains have given way to a grace and an understanding of each other that is hard to describe.

Along the way you will rediscover hope, trust and love again. God has fully honored our choosing to lean into the ‘for worse’ part of those vows by trusting Him through the process up to and including the present time.

Before I give you the impression we’ve somehow extricated the worse elements from our marriage, know we have our moments. Far less often and generally far less severe, but we manage to get under one another’s skin from time to time.

Vows Are A Covenant
Jesus Christ represents the New Covenant with the church through his shed blood. Christ gave His life for our worst. That’s an eternal covenant that was brought about at great cost.

Jesus relationship with the church is the pure representation of what marriage is to mirror to and in our world today.

Therefore, when men and women take vows in marriage to God they are sacred, powerful and carry with them a lifetime commitment to hold fast to. In a broken world marriage is to be a shining light and beacon of hope. It’s also a significant part of God’s design to hold society and the church together in loving unity, filled with grace and forgiveness.

Yes, for better or for worse. Even the best of marriages have both, and sometimes at the same time. James 1:2-4 instructs us to consider the trials of life pure joy because, when embraced as God designed us to, trials draw us closer to Jesus and each other.

For better or for worse, your spouse should be the one you can confide in and trust most. Lean into that truth and trust it to be true. After all, Christ promised to never leave you or forsake you.

Now that’s a promise worth placing your faith in!
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Posted: Oct 9, 2017,
Categories: Men, Women, Spouses,
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